TK
by Aa-chan
Summary: On the bus ride home from the campsite, Matt gets to thinking...


_A/N: *ahem* I forgot to add something in the last chapter of Chaos Theory I posted. THANK YOU, TS! Blarg, I can't believe I forgot about you but remembered Aardwulf and Ryan. . Yep, well, you rule, too. ^^_

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**TK**

_By Aa-chan_

The bus ride is uncomfortable. Not because it's gone over a few hundred potholes, not because so many people jammed together makes for a most distinct odor, not even because Jun has fallen asleep on my shoulder. It's because I'm thinking of you, TK.

It's strange to know that you've won even though I wasn't there to protect you, and help you. You and these other kids your age were up against incredible odds, and you still managed to come out on top.

I remember when you born, vaguely. I was only a little kid then, but I know I felt so excited when Mom told me I was going to have a little brother. I've heard stories where the firstborn is full of jealousy that someone new was going to come along and take away his parent's love. That wasn't the case with me. I just knew I was going to have someone to look up to me and make me feel important. You would be someone who I could protect whenever you needed it, someone who I could teach everything I knew to, someone to play with.

Yes, it was a while ago, but I remember the first time I saw you. I'm not sure what I was expecting; I was so caught up in the things I could do with you that I was surprised to see a helpless, wrinkled little figure. You were so tiny, with itty-bitty fingernails and eyes that couldn't open all the way. You flailed and you cried and I knew right then I loved you more than I had thought possible… and you needed me.

I always tried to help you as you grew older, and when you looked at me with eyes shining with admiration, I just felt so special.

When Mom and Dad said they were getting a divorce and our family would be separating, I don't think either of us really understood. I thought I would never see you or Mom again, and apparently, you did, too. At nighttime, in our bedroom, you would start to cry about it. I have to admit, I felt like crying, too, but I had to be strong, for you. I promised you we would never be separated no matter what our parents did to us. Still, I felt like I was going to be sick the day we said goodbye to live in different houses.

When we were transported to the Digiworld, it was all so strange. I mean, the situation in the first place was just unbelievable, but then I was the only one there for you again. During the time since the divorce we'd seen one another, of course, but we didn't grow up together. I didn't know inside out the way I had when we were younger. And yet, I was the only one who could take care of you, and I vowed to do just that.

I suppose I still partially thought of you as that little boy who cried himself to sleep those nights. I was so positive that you needed me as you did then. When you were captured by Puppetmon, I was just being eaten up inside—"It's all my fault, it's all my fault, it's all my fault…" And then when you escaped all by yourself, and everyone was praising you, it hit me full force. You were fine all on your own, weren't you?

I had to leave the group eventually, and I'm glad I did. With Gabumon, I realized that people do need me, and like me.

After our adventure in the Digiworld, I watched you grow up from a distance. I always felt protective of you, even then. I guess I didn't want to let go of that scared little kid. Even when a new generation of Digidestined showed up, and you were proven to be one of them, I have to admit I was worried. You're still young. Even your experience in the Digiworld didn't change things much, remembering the way you sometimes acted so desperately afraid. It never did occur to me that you're older than I was when I was first whisked away there.

I did realize you were getting older, though, and weren't so helpless anymore. I believed in you, because you always were a strong kid. Even when you were sobbing your eyes out over one-thing-or-another, I knew you would find the strength to overcome it.

Just now, when you walked out onto the campsite with the others and I realized you must have won, I suddenly saw you in a different light. You were disheveled, dirty, exhausted, and I've never felt more proud of you.

The bus is suddenly jerking to a stop, rousing me from my thoughts. I glance over at Jun, contemplating whether or not I should let her sleep on and wake up who-knows-where, but my heart isn't in it. I shake her shoulder. "Wake up, Jun. We're home."

She opens her eyes and starts chattering incessantly almost immediately as we step down onto the sidewalk. I occasionally make noncommittal noises, but I'm not really listening.

"Walk me home, Matt? Pretty please?"

"Mm." I blink. "Oh… actually, I was just thinking of going over to see Mom and TK. But I'll catch you later, okay?"

Jun looks disappointed, but brightens up at the last words. "Yeah! Hope I see you soon!"

I barely notice her departure and I start to walk to Mom's apartment. It's not far, and she buzzes me up.

I'm not sure why I'm here as I walk through the halls. I just want to see you, TK, to try and understand who you've become without me near you.

I knock and the door and Mom opens it, smiling absently. "Hi, Matt, honey. Listen, it's great to see you, of course, but I have a paper I need to type up and the deadline's soon, so I have to finish it right away. And TK's asleep. Just make yourself at home and I'll be with you when I get it done." I follow her into the apartment, bright, crisply clean, and spotless. Quite the contrast to Dad's and mine.

Mom wanders off to focus on her laptop and I head for your room. I hesitantly open the door, rying not to let it creak. It's dark in there, the shade pulled down, but I can still see you clearly enough. You're lying on the bed under the heavy blue covers, smiling even in your sleep. Your golden hair, just like that of my own, falls across your eyes as you breathe slowly, rhythmically.

I gaze down at you and grin even though I feel kind of sad, for some reason. I guess it's because you've grown up. You're no longer that childish boy who sobbed and clung to me when the going got rough. You'll no longer look up at me as if I'm a god. But you know, I'm kind of happy at the same time. You've turned out great, TK. You're strong and smart and likeable, not to mention the best brother in the world.

I turn to leave, but once outside of your door I glance back in at you. "Sleep well, TK." And I smile and shut the door.__


End file.
